I am blessed with a penis for every occasion.
I have a tiny, pitiful, shriveled penis
for circumstances that require low self-esteem.
I have a small, stout, happy penis
that is either exhausted from great sex
or relaxing at a public urinal.
I have a sleek circumcised penis
that fits neatly into mainstream expectations.
I have a penis that has never scared anyone
as far as I know.
The rest of my body and my entire nervous system
is attached to a long, firm, slightly curved penis
that is strong and noble and benevolent.
I am controlled by a penis
that will settle for nothing less than world domination.
I have a penis that refers to itself in the third person
and insists it is a direct descendant of the sun.
I possess a penis for every meal.
Lazy breakfast penis.
Watchful lunch penis.
Hungry dinner penis.
Bite-size snack penis.
Prowling midnight penis.
I possess a penis for every phase of the moon
every astrological bus stop and cabalistic correspondence.
I possess a magic penis that takes me to other worlds.
I am blessed with a penis for every occasion.
My penis is a born-again nuclear maniac.
My penis is a self-absorbed jerk.
My penis is an undercover CIA agent.
My penis works for the illuminati.
My penis is mayor of a small town outside Detroit.
My penis is responsible for Obamacare.
My penis does not vote but if it did it would be Republican.
It does not believe in democracy, or socialism
or communism, or even surrealism.
My penis spits out the entire population of China
every time it laughs.
And it laughs about twice a week since 1973
but who’s counting.
My penis is not obsessed with sex.
It is obsessed with paradise.
My penis enters paradise with caution.
Every paradise is a revelation of
its own mysterious, shivering light
every paradise is the first paradise
my penis never takes paradise for granted
my penis is obsessed with paradise.
My penis has many names
and it is flattered with the attention.
My penis is also a dick, cock, pocket rocket
Lil’ red rooster, big Johnson, sir likes-to-lancelot
breeder unit, wang daddy, astral cannon
peppermint poker, buckaroo, one-eyed snake,
mister Rodgers, donut holder, tube steak
bone flute, clawless hamster, pookie bait
repopulator, Picasso’s lunchbox, grateful Jake
lickin’ stick, George Bush junior and senior
lightning rod, magic bone, prowlin pole
Washington’s monument and the Pope’s nose.
My penis is as holy as creation.
My penis is as profane as any middle finger
or the invasion of Baghdad
it is the secret identity of JFK’s killer
it is jazz and rock ‘n’ roll
it is gangsta rap, hip hop and hootchie cootchie
it is as primitive as the first desire
it wears a zoot suit and a black beret
it is eternal damnation
it is the ultimate resurrection
and it has a mind that is like
ten million hungry rockets
sleek, circumcised rockets
small, stout, happy rockets
tiny, pitiful, shriveled rockets.
I am blessed with a penis for every occasion.
Last Poems--Outsider Art 